Hanashi no ai to Hegeki
by weatheredtome
Summary: Jakotsu's final wish is to be everything that Inuyasha could ever want him to be. Even if it means becoming the one thing he despises most. Rin also has a wish, the one basic thing all orphans dream of. Sesshomaru/Kagome Inuyasha/Ame An OC - HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 - Jakotsu**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in InuYasha what so ever. With the exception of the story's original character concept for "Ame"

This is a revision of an older story I_'ve been re-writing on and off for about seven years. The entire story is written in a first person point of view. I think this is much easier to write like this, though it usually means shorter chapters._

He stared at me with cold amber eyes, grimacing as he shouldered his weapon. "Still alive, I see. You just won't give up, will ya?" he asked me. And to be honest, I did. He had no feelings for me and I knew that. I thought I had come to terms with it, no one has ever returned my love anyway. So what would one more rejection be? This time felt different somehow, a new set of feelings began to surface. It wasn't lust; I have felt that so many times before I could never mistake it. Is it possible that the feeling I felt was love? Condensation stung at my eyes. It was a strange sensation, I could feel when my skin would get tore wide open and yet I couldn't smell the sweet scent of the world. I didn't even need to breathe. Though I could cry and feel emotional pain that I never had before. It was the strangest thing.

I stared back at him; my throat was beginning to feel raw "Just long enough for you to finish me off."

"Hmph- I won't have to, judging from your condition." He sheathed his sword.

I pointlessly took in a deep breath "Please, Inuyasha,"

Inuyasha raised a brow "Why do you want to die so badly?"

"…Why not? If I am going to die, I wish it to be swift." I closed my eyes.

"A worthless specter like you isn't worth my time." He glared.

I winced. Right now, hearing him say that cut me worse than any sword. "Is there anything I can say to make you change your mind?"

"Nothin'." He turned around. I began to panic on the inside.

It showed. "Inuyasha, please don't leave me!" I implored him, feeling a little pathetic after those words escaped my lips.

He stopped "What are you talkin' about?" he asked with his eyebrow quirked high.

"I -I just don't want to die alone…" I admitted.

"What's that got to do with me?"

"I just want you to say here until I pass. Please." My eyes began to sting more, thinking that this will be how I remember him. Hating my very existence…Was I seriously that bad of a person? Heh, well, now that I think about it…Killing people for money really isn't very socially acceptable. I guess I should expect this kind of reaction from others, I suppose.

"How do you expect to change my mind?" he asked, now seeming somewhat amused by my desperation.

I shook my head "I can't… I wish…" my curse threatened my eyes again. I just couldn't take it I burst into tears "I wish you could love me too! I wish I could be everything you've ever wanted –ever needed- even if it meant becoming someone else! Anything to receive your love…"

"You're crazy." He shook his head and began walking away again.

'_No, No… Please don't leave me… I love you.' _I wanted to tell him, but the burning soreness of my throat and the crippling wrenching of my chest disabled me from talking. All I could do was watch. Watch as my unrequited love disappeared from my sight. I could still see those hate-filled eyes…Those beautiful, haunting eyes. I exhaled; and decided to think about how sweet death would seem with Inuyasha at my side. I imagined that the debris surrounding me was Inuyasha's embrace. I imagined that he kissed my forehead. I practically melted into him. And then, I did. My body began to conform into his very desire… then I realized that someone was watching me. I opened my eyes and saw brother Renkotsu staring down at me. I knew he had been hiding in the shadows waiting for me to die. And that was okay. If killing me would make my brother happy, then so be it. I was done for either way. I fought the pain circulating through my body and smiled at him.

He leaned down to me, simply saying, "Forgive me..." as he removed my shard.

I forgive you, brother. As my body began to fade, so did my thoughts. Goodbye, my love…I hope that if we meet again, you will be able to return my love.


	2. 2 Sesshomaru

**Chapter 2- Sesshomaru**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in InuYasha what so ever. With the exception of the story's original character concept for "Ame"

I don't know what happened; I just remember her face being the first thing I saw.

"He's alive!" she cried to everyone. I felt small hands touching my wounds.

I hissed in defense. It was all I was able to do, my vision was blurry and I couldn't see anything past two feet away.

"Just leave him, Kagome. He's a demon; he doesn't need your help." This was this voice of my retched younger brother.

"Inuyasha, sit!" she called. I saw a red silhouette hurtle into the ground like a comet.

I swallowed "For once… For once, the half-breed is right. I don't need help from anyone…Especially a mortal girl."

My vision was becoming clearer. The girl had her hands on her hips "Your wounds are gonna take a long time to heal on their own. Do you want that sweet little girl to see you like this?" She pointed off into the distance "It would break her heart! But of course you don't care."

"..Rin…" was all I muttered.

She huffed, "Why do you have to be so stubborn?"

I attempted to stand but I had lost too much blood, so I was too weakened to move. The mortal girl grabbed me by my shoulders, keeping me from falling.

"Back away, girl, or I'll tear you to shreds." I threatened.

Inuyasha stepped forward "Hey, don't you talk to Kagome like that!" Inuyasha intervened.

"Inuyasha-" Kagome looked at him "Sit, sit, sit!" and he looked like he was being pounded into the ground multiple times .Serves the half-breed right, trying to tell me what to do. Then she turned her attention back towards me, staring into my eyes "I don't think you will…"

I growled this time. How dare she think she can call my bluff... I suddenly heard a sound that stopped my heart, the sound of little feet running towards me.

"Lord Sesshomaru!" she shouted.

"Stay back, Rin." I ordered her.

"But, my lord-" she protested.

"Do as I say!" I began to lose my nonchalant demeanor "Jaken, I told you to keep her safe and wait until _I_ returned?"

My henchman squealed in terror "Forgive me, milord! Rin kept insisting we find you then Ah-Un led us here without my knowing!"

I glared and tried to get close enough to strike him for being such a buffoon. I got two feet before I dropped to my knees; the human girl caught me. For some strange reason I could still feel her touching me… the sounds of their voices…

"Lady Kagome," it sounded like Rin had tears jerking at her eyes "Is lord Sesshomaru going to be alright?"

I heard the mortal girl gulp "Yes," her voice perked up "I promise!"

All my senses dulled and then there was nothing.


	3. 3 A Waking Dream

**Chapter 3 – A Waking Dream**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in InuYasha what so ever. With the exception of the story's original character concept for "Ame"

When I came to, I was surrounded by blackened woods. Hold on, a sec… I feel….Different…

I looked down at myself and saw large breasts. I screamed at the top of my lunges, terrified. After revering, I looked further and saw that I saw a woman… I screamed again, so petrified I didn't know what else to do but scream "Am I in hell?!?!" and even that was a scary high-pitched feminine mess.

"On the contrary, Jakotsu," a malevolent voice echoed thought the woods."I'm offering you a second chance at life. You can have your dreams come true, being beside Inuyasha forever. Do you accept?"

I hesitantly nodded and asked myself why this voice was so familiar to me. I knew I'd never heard it before.

"Good. Now, head north and you will find what you seek." His laughing voice echoed around me again, making me feel slightly dizzy.


	4. 4 Realization

**Chapter 4 - Realization**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in InuYasha what so ever. With the exception of the story's original character concept for "Ame"

"He's waking up!" I heard Rin's voice exclaimed. It was comforting to know that I was still alive; I have never been so badly injured.

I opened my eyes to see the mortal girl was poking around under my shirt. I growled at her.

"Stop being a baby, I'm just taking off your bandages." She said.

"Listen, girl, that will be the last time you belittle me-"

"Lord Sesshomaru, her name is lady Kagome. She's so nice." Rin tugged my shirt. It never mattered to me if Rin spoke out of line, I could never be angry with her even if I tried to. She continued on "I really think you would like her if you got to know her."

Then again, children need to be reared; otherwise, they think they own you. "Rin, that is enough…" I looked around "Where is Jaken?"

That Kagome girl answered, "He's outside, Ah-Un Shippo and are playing."

Her answer caused me to quirk my brow.

In that instant, Rin jumped to her feet "I wanna play, too!"

I watched her run outside, leaving me with the mor –Kagome.

"She looks happy." The girl smiled at me.

I didn't reply.

"You must really care about her. She told me that before you found her, bandits killed her parents and she never spoke."

Is that so? Rin never told me that. But then again, I suppose I never let her feel like she could speak freely.

"Sesshomaru?" the girl tapped my arm.

I glared "What do you want, girl?"

She recoiled slightly, obviously offended.

"Kagome." I said, feeling my pride being torn to shreds.

Kagome smiled "Better…" she handed me a bowl filled with some odd looking sting-like objects "Its food."

That appalling substance is food? Not likely "I don't consume human food." She picked up a sack that was both translucent and shiny. Was that food too?

"I got these for Inuyasha awhile back. You know… dog demon and all. He won't eat them because he thinks they smell funny."

"Do you honestly think I would touch something that the half-breed didn't want?" I frowned.

She put her hands on her knees "I'm sorry if I offended you… I just wanted to make you more comfortable." She got up and left the hut.

I do not like this Kagome girl, so why do I feel guilty? I assume it is because Rin wants me to.

I could hear them talking outside. "Lord Sesshomaru is very stubborn. He doesn't seem to like anyone." Rin stated.

"He likes you, though. So he can't be all that bad. I just don't understand why he puts up a front like that. I'm sorry, Rin, but I tried."

"I really wish he'd notice how much I love him. He's the closest thing to a parent I have." Rin sounded like she was choking back tears. She thinks of me as a parent? How could I be so cold to her? She's just a child…

Kagome gasped "Rin, please don't cry. He'll come around soon."

I sat there and pondered for a long time until I heard tha- er, Kagome scream. I almost broke the door as I exited. She was standing soaking wet.

"-Miroku, you jerk!!" she appeared to be livid.

The monk shielded himself with a large cooking pot "I'm sorry, Kagome! I tripped!"

"Well you won't be able to walk after I'm done with you! This was my last clean outfit!"

Kagome chased the monk in circles until Inuyasha and an old woman walked over "Here, Kagome," he threw clothes to her "Kaede found these for you."

"That was quick. Thanks." She walked past me, her scent catching my nose. It seemed to change, as if it was somehow less foul. I couldn't place it.

"Where's Rin?" I asked.

She turned around, looking surprised by my question. "She's over at the next hut taking a nap."

Rin was curled up with a large cat demon. I sat down next to her. _'Until now, I had never thought about having children. I had never really seen Rin as mine for the simple fact that she's mortal. Having just a father wouldn't be fair to her._ 'I rubbed her head. _'However, demons aren't likely to take to her well. And humans are naturally afraid of demons._

"Can I ask you something real quick?" I turned around, having been deep in thought I didn't even hear Kagome enter the room.

I nodded, not even moving my hand from Rin's head. I had no idea how long she had been there, so it would not make sense to hide the fact that I have grown soft.

"We're leaving this afternoon to search for jewel shards."

I opened my mouth, about to interrupt.

"Just hear me out. Almost every time we encounter a shard, it leads back to Naraku..."

I growled, waking the demon cat. "… And What about Rin? I don't want to leave her alone again."

"I can keep her safe. All I'm really able to do is sense jewel shards and I have a little bit of spiritual power."

"Why do you want us there?" I stared at her.

"Personally, I think we need each other's help. None of us have been able to kill Naraku alone. If we stick together I think we have a fighting chance."

"Lord Sesshomaru?" tiny hands touched my hand. I looked down at her "Where are we going?"

"I suppose we are travelling with Kagome and the others."

"Yay!" Kagome and Rin both said simultaneously and hugged me.

"To be honest, I do not wish to be company to Inuyasha." I told them.

"I thought about that, too." Kagome said proudly "We'll split up into two groups."

Rin tugged her on her kimono "Will you be coming with us, lady Kagome?" She certainly is a persistent child.

"I guess I could come with you guys. Inuyasha will probably get mad at me."

Inuyasha's eyes grew wide "We're doing what?!"


	5. 5 Meeting Againfor the First Time

**Chapter 5 - Meeting Again, For the First Time**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in InuYasha what so ever. With the exception of the story's original character concept for "Ame"

I woke up, surrounded by darkness. I stood up, searching for lights, for life in some form. I eventually found a hut about a mile from where I awoke. I entered cautiously, I felt uncomfortable with the idea of walking around with no clothing and someone seeing me. It was empty. Good, I can find something to wear here. All I could find that was feminine was a small roll of pink fabric. "I'll have to make do with this."

After about an hour, I finished making a kimono. It was rather short, but with that little amount of fabric, I'm surprised it went so far.

Suddenly, the door opened "Thief!" the man yelled at me.

I panicked and crawled through a window. _'Not good, not good-' _I thought to myself, looking for somewhere to hide.

More men came around to the back of the home, "Really not good!" I cried aloud. I bolted off in the opposite direction, trying to escape.

Rain began to pour. "Somebody please help me!" I slipped and slid across the wet ground, probably cutting myself to pieces. I ran until my heart felt like it was going to explode. I skid to a halt even though I knew they were right behind me. I just couldn't move anymore. I dropped to my knees, my hair covering me like a black shield, was now becoming muddy.

Someone grabbed me by the wrist, pulling me onto their back. We flew past the trees and brush; I'd never seen such speed in my life. We came to a heart stopping halt underneath a bridge.

"You okay?" The male voice asked me.

"Yes, thank you." I looked up, he obviously wasn't human…He had golden eyes and silver hair that was almost as long as mine was.

"Yeah-"He turned around. I felt compelled to stop him.

"Excu-" my sentence was cut off because I sneezed.

It was enough to grab his attention, he draped his red shirt over my head and said "Come on."

I wasn't going to wait a minute longer, I ran to his side and walked with him back to where he was staying.

We walked silently most of the way until he broke it "Whats your name?"

I peaked at him through the jacket he had placed on my head. I blushed slightly, what was my name? I remember everything except my name. Water dripped from his hair, I looked at the sky "My name is Ame."

He smiled, probably amused by my unusual answer. I'm surprised he didn't ask me if I was a water sprite. But then again he was a demon; I suppose he would have had the… power to sense that I was purely a mortal.

"What's yours?" I asked, wondering if he would tell me.

"Inuyasha." is all he replied. He opened the curtain to their refuge.

I walked in, taking the red shirt off my head. A man and woman sat on either side of a small fire; they were staring blankly at me.

The man suddenly jumped up and grabbed my hand "I don't even know your name," he stared at me, it caused me to blush because he was very handsome "but I would be greatly honored if you would-" his sentence was cut short when the woman threw a bowl at him.

"Don't mind him," the woman told me "he's just a pitiful lecher."

Inuyasha took his shirt from me. He hung it up over the fire and sat down.

The woman looked at him "So, she's the one you heard?"

"Yeah." He replied. I was beginning to think that he wasn't the conversational type.

She walked to me "Are you okay?"

"Yes. How did you know I needed help?"

"Inuyasha heard someone in trouble so he went to find out what was happening." She sat me down in front of the fire and changed the subject "Where do you live?"

"I was orphaned as a child. Today it was a little cold. I just wanted to be inside. I found a hut, I thought it was abandoned but people came in. I was so scared I ran away, they chased me and that's when Inuyasha found me."

"You've been injured?" she asked.

"Huh?" I looked down. My knees were a bloody mess. "Oh- I fell."

She handed me some bandages "I'm Sango, by the way".

"Thank you, Sango. I'm Ame." I smiled, gratefully taking the bandages.

"I'm Miroku!" the handsome man said.

Hi.: I replied. I heard a tiny yawn so I turned toward it and saw the cutest little fox "Aw! You're adorable!" I clasped my hands together under my chin.

He rubbed his eyes "Who're you?" he sounded very confused.

"My name is Ame. What's your name, little fox?" I was borderline baby talking to him.

"Don't talk to me like I'm a child! –Hey," he blinked "You know I'm a fox?"

"Well, yeah, aren't you?"

"Yeah but everybody thinks I'm a squirrel." He grimaced.

Sango shook her head "He's Shippo."

"Oh,-" I sneezed again "I'm sorry."

Sango jumped up and pulled a thin blanket out of an old looking yellow sack "Here, you're gonna get sick if you stay wet." She pulled me into the corner of the room, shielding me with the blanket "Take off your clothes."

Miroku jumped to his feet. Inuyasha tripped him with a sheathed sword. I giggled; I was rather short so I couldn't see over the screen. I dropped my kimono to the ground with a wet _plop_ sound. Sango handed me the blanket and I tightly wrapped it around myself "Thank you."

"No problem." She hung my kimono next to Inuyasha's clothes.


End file.
